Thursday, February 02, 2006


Funny, not ha ha

I hate to do this to you, but here's more nonsense from what's fast becoming my favourite newspaper.

What in the world is it doing here?

As usual, this year also Bharatiyas swept away the Nobel prizes in every field. This year a special Nobel was given to Santa Singh for his extra ordinary intelligence.


The team Bharatvarsh has decided not to take part in the next World Cup to give chance to other countries.


Arnav Deka has reached the final of Wimbledon male section. If he wins the final, it will be his 15th Wimbledon title. In the female section, Smita Iyer has reached the final. She is vying for her l0th title here.


The software company, Megasoft, today merged into the Bharatiya behemoth, Gananak. With Megasoft under his belt, Prabhat Hazarika, the owner of Gananak, once again consolidated his position as the richest man on Prithvi.

You know, this man sounds like every Hindi movie ever made.

I'm hoping that this article was in the "Light Reading for the Easily Amused" section of the web site.

And please note that:

The Pradhan Mantri of Bharatvarsh has sanctioned Rs 1, 00,000 for the development projects for rehabilitating Brahmin and Kshatriya people.

The message I'm getting is that if you happen to be a Brahmin or a Khastriya in Deka-land 2085, you are basically screwed. It is interesting that even in the fabulously wealthy, immensely powerful fantasyland of Deka's overheated imagination, certain people get no lovin' and no breaks. Quite a chip Mr. Deka is carrying there :-)

And in keeping with the general theme of mild idiocy, the swashbuckling Deka ends his article with the nonsensical sentence:

It was my editor harking at me for stories.

Something tells me that unless you define "story" very loosely, his editor will have to wait a long, long time. You probably couldn't bomb a story out of Deka if a million bucks depended on it.

Seriously, where DO they get these guys? Just when you think they couldn't sink any lower; just when you think they couldn't get any dorkier, they trot out yet another astonishing dunce and prove you wrong.

Ashok, please keep pointing out these articles. This definitely tickled and amused, but probably not in the way that Mr. Deka intended :-)
What were the Bharatiyas carrying when they swept away the Nobel Prizes? Brooms?

"Arnav Deka has reached the final of Wimbledon male section."

"In the female section, Smita Iyer..."

Looks like Wimbledon will have separate seating sections for males and females.

Sougata, if keep this up, I run the risk of serious cerebral damage :)
They have one everyday actually. I think I can start a special section of must reads. Here's another:,curpg-2.cms

"Working at a PC, most of us are addicted to some game or other these days." Who are these most of us?

"Sitting in the silent office, working religiously gets to you sooner or later and you find yourself in need of a break. These games are the best way of relieving tension without disturbing anyone as long as you keep the volume down."

Really now?

"Research says playing online games can positively change employee productivity, job satisfaction and reduce absenteeism."

Who did this research?

"After playing computer games for some time, there are evidences suggesting that cognitive skills and general sense of well being can be significantly improved."

Where are these 'evidences'?

And lots more where these came from...
I think I'll have to add this site to my list of bookmarks :-)

Just to clarify -- my previous comment is not an instance of an elitist ragfest on a poor journo. I don't mean to rag on Mr. Deka, who I am sure is just trying to do his job to the best of his ability. But good heavens, man! This is a national newspaper. With a web site. That people actually visit. Doesn't the discerning public have a right to expect quality? This is pathetic beyond words!
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