Friday, February 01, 2002

 
Pak Most Wanted: LK, Sunny & Bhai

In a sensational disclosure late Thursday, a highly-placed source confided in Full TP that, apart from Home Minister L K Advani, two other Indians, Plywood Ibrahim and Sunny Duel, figure in Pakistan's most wanted list.

A local newspaper reported Wednesday that a list of 'most wanted Indian criminals' compiled by the Pakistan foreign office mentioned L K Advani for his alleged involvement in the assassination of Mohammed Ali Jinnah.

According to the unimpeachable source (which automatically counts out the US President), Plywood is at number five on the list and Sunny weighs in at 10.

The cases against the two:
Plywood Ibrahim: The Pakistan foreign office is accusing India of exporting criminals to Pakistan with the aim of spreading terror in the country. Asked why there were not extraditing Plywood back to India, the source said that India's demand was part of a larger conspiracy, to malign Pakistan's name in the international community and absolve itself of blame. "India will just send him right back, after a while,'' he said. The source said Pakistan was looking at trying Plywood in their own courts or extraditing him to a neutral country. "But," said the source, "that is if we find him." According to him, only Outlook magazine and the Indian government seem to know where the man is hiding, and both are deliberately misleading the Pakistan government.

Sunny Duel: "He has single-handedly killed more Pakistanis than the Indian army," the source said. "Have you seen any of his movies," he asked. "It's a crime on the Pakistan population." Duel has also been accused of inflicting brain damage on children.

All attempts to contact Bhai on the email address provided by Outlook magazine were futile. A reply from Bhai was intercepted and deleted by the server because it contained a 'I Love You India" virus -- which, according to Symantec, is capable of blowing a computer to bits.

Full TP, however, managed to get through to Sunny's PA. Asked what he thought about Sunny's inclusion in the Pak most wanted, the PA said: "It's really nice to know that Sunny is popular across the border, too..."
So, what do they plan to do about it? "Oh lots of things... We have hired a historian to research freedom fighters... Sunny will be playing one every year... so far, we have got 27 of them...
"Wait a minute... I think Sunny's here...
With that, he puts me on hold... First, Jana Gana Mana begins to play over the line... a few minutes later, Vande Mataram begins...
Half an hour later, my ears ringing with cries of Jai He and Vande Mataram, I hang up.

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